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HESS: Working it
I know I have always been a pushover when it comes to my kids. I figure, though, as neither of them have knocked over any banks, spray painted their names on water towers, or had their faces plastered in the post office, I must have done something right.
The other day as I was preparing to fall asleep early because I had to be up at 4 a.m. to catch a plane to Baltimore, Alexa came strolling into the bedroom, plopped herself down next to me and was being really nice to Henrietta (that is usually a sign she is up to something) and she said, “Mom ... you know how parents give their kids things that smell like them (the parents) when they go away ... you know ... to soothe the kids when they are missing them.” Because it was dark, I felt it was safe to roll my eyes before cautiously saying, “yes.” She went on to request borrowing a pair of my earrings while I was gone— you know “so I can have the smell of you nearby” she said. That left me wondering ... do my ears have such a pungent odor that they would keep Alexa and I connected while I was gone? I sincerely doubted it, but I played along anyway, but told her I was taking my good earrings with me.
That denial lead to her asking for cash. A-ha! I think the earring borrowing was a ploy to soften me up for the cash request. See, I may be a pushover but I am rather crafty in my own right and seeing as how I take her to a local donut shop for a milkshake type drink several times a week, I had planned to leave her money for that. I did ask how, though, if she planned to spend the cash would the scent of me linger ... she said at that point she would be thinking of me and that would keep us close. Yeah, right.
The kids have pretty much always known that with me “no” usually means, “no ... unless you drive me crazy enough that I will give in just to get some peace.” I can keep my “no” in place if it was something dangerous — you know like jumping off a train trestle bridge into the water below. In that case, no means no. If it’s a request to spend the night on a school night ... well maybe I can give in. Ice cream before dinner? Who am I to say no to a request like that? I am not much of a believer in do as I say, not as I do ... besides, those kids have extremely good memories and have cataloged my transgressions whenever I have said no to one of their requests. I am pretty much sunk and they (unfortunately) know it.
I realized the other morning though that the kids are growing up and I now have Henrietta to boss me around. She whines, I pick her up. She looks at me with those liquid brown eyes, I melt. She scratches at me when I am working, I stop. I’ve convinced myself I cave into her demands because at that point, she is a gauge of my stress level ... is anyone buying that?
Former Journal-Register staffer Robbi Hess is a writer who lives in Albion. She welcomes comments and can be reached at proedge@rochester.rr.com.
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