If you’re already fatigued from Acute Holiday Overexposure, just think of the poor people who grow up in Frankenmuth, Mich.
It may not be as well-known in upstate New York, but Frankenmuth is renowned across the Midwest and amongst holiday fanatics everywhere for being the unofficial Christmas capital of the world.
That’s due in large part to Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland, a ridiculously festive store that offers more than 50,000 trims, gifts and collectibles. Combined with the city’s deep Bavarian heritage and an economy now squarely focused on tourism, you get the sense that locals start seeing red long before the Thanksgiving turkeys are put on the shelves.
A former co-worker who spent much of his youth in Frankenmuth often grumbled that it was tiring to have every stranger he met grow wide-eyed and ramble about their last trip to Bronner’s whenever the subject of his hometown came up.
Pressed about the experience by phone, however, the co-worker — now living in Naples, Fla., decidedly not an official Christmas anything — admits there is a lot to like about Frankenmuth that isn’t covered in snow or smelling of pine.
“If you live there, you pretty much avoid downtown at all costs this time of year,” said Brad Kane, a reporter with the Naples Daily News. “But there’s a small-town Christmas feel everywhere you go ... it’s a nice thing, really.”
Compiled here, with a small bit of “townie” perspective from Kane, are a few of Frankenmuth’s highlights.
Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland
• 25 Christmas Lane, Frankenmuth; (989) 652-9931; bronners.com; closed at 4 p.m. Christmas Eve and Christmas.
It should be any Frankenmuth visitor’s first stop, especially if they’re getting to town at night. That’s when the store lights up its half-mile “Christmas Lane” with thousands of lights. Visitors can also stop by the “Silent Night Chapel” for quiet reflection on the holiday’s meaning — the store intentionally capitalizes the “CHRIST” aspect of its name. This is the store film studios go to when they need to fill the frame with Christmas decor.
Birch Run Outlet Mall
• 12240 S. Beyer Road, Birch Run, Mich.; (989) 624-6226; primeretail.com
“The Midwest’s largest outlet center” might look more than a little familiar to Niagara residents — it’s a Prime Outlets location, and fashioned in a similar style to what was once the Prime Outlets at Niagara Falls. More than 150 stores, including Coach, Pottery Barn and others.
Lodging
• Bavarian Inn Lodge — 1 Covered Bridge Lane, Frankenmuth; (989) 652-7200; bavarianinn.com
• Zehnder’s Splash Village Hotel & Waterpark — 1365 S. Main St., Frankenmuth; (800) 863-7999; zehnders.com
If you’ve brought your tykes along for the trip to Christmasland, both of these family resorts offer shops, recreation, indoor water activities and Bavarian-themed lodging. But the real appeal to a tourist is their German-style chicken dinners. Kane said the locals tend to favor the Bavarian Inn, but both draw their share of tourists.
Black Forest Brew Haus & Grill
• 281 Heinlein Strasse, Frankenmuth; (989) 652-6400; blackforestbrewhaus.net
Start with the standard porter, stout, light and dark ales and lagers made on-site by master brewer Andy Rathaus. Move on to the Czech Pilsner and Lindsemans Framboise for dessert.
Wilhelm’s Frankenmuth Tours
• (989) 652-8257; muthtours.com
Wilhelm Laegler has offered tours since he was in junior high school. He’s spent more than 40 years showing people around Frankenmuth. If you seek either a quick or extended tour of the city, by car or motorcoach, look no further.
Midnight Manor
• 925 S. Main St., G-2, Frankenmuth; (989) 652-3541; midnightmanor.net
Midnight Manor has 2,000 square feet of scares, monsters and props. While we can’t promise a complete lack of Santa, at least it’s probably Zombie Santa.
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TRAVEL: Michigan offers year-round Christmas delights
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